Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
