He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
