I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All the doctor said was why
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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