singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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