someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
