john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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