dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
