I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
