Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
