Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
