I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
