and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
