Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
