hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
