so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
