That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
