I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
