if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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