I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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