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• (925): View more from California

  I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...

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• (361): View more from Texas

  remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning

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