That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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