I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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