I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize