Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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