you would pick up someone in the library
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
