To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
