I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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