yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
