P.S. I can't hear my feet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
