so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize