my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
