i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
