if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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