I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
