Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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