I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
