Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
did i walk over a car last night?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
did i just pee glitter
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
