Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
