my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
