I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
