everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
