Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
