Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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