pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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