You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
