he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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