you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
