So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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