I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize