sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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