That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize