she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
