Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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