There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
