Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
