I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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