Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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