let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize