hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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