ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we're making bets on your personal life
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
