You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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