the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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