now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
