Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
