god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
