Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
