you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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