u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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