I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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