i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
