Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
