Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
