you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
