and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
