i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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