We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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